It has been a while since I wrote a new post, at least that’s what it seems like to me. I have had almost full-week trainings, audit support projects and I have been travelling for work a bit in the past few weeks. It has been an 6 am to 6 pm kind of weeks for me, which TBH is tiring. I have been trying to write new posts, but ended up just saving them in drafts without completing them.
I usually get back to them and complete them though.
This post will be about asking personal questions to people you barely know. If you have been reading my posts, you know that I barely write posts that are not so positive. But, life happens, so do things like these. I feel it is necessary to bring awareness about subjects like these.
**So this happened to me this AM.**
My job requires me to travel a lot for work, mostly international, but some domestic trips. When I am in the office, I like to go to the office cafeteria and get breakfast. I am really grateful that our campus(it’s what we call them because we have a lot of buildings) has it’s own cafeteria where we can get custom order hot breakfasts. I usually do this most mornings because I love breakfast foods, who doesn’t? right?
I go in, order my omelette or eggs however I want them, then there is a wait time. There is a guy that I usually see there in the mornings who makes these breakfasts. I am a friendly person and so is he so we end up making small talks, which I do just to be polite and he is nice so I chat for a bit.
During this time for the past year, he has been asking me things like how i am doing, where I have been travelling, how my husband is doing …& why I don’t have kids yet…<WHAT>?!
Keep in mind, I usually only have a couple minutes or so in the morning while I wait for my breakfast to be made and I walk downstairs to my work area.
Now, I have been politely telling him that we will when we are ready or something along these lines for the past year. I also just went and got breakfast yesterday.
Him: How are you doing?
Me: I am good. Thanks! How are you?
Him: I am good. Still no kids yet?
(OK, this made me really angry for some reason, because, WHAT the …?”)
Me : Why do you keep asking me this? Between the time I was here yesterday and today, NO, I haven’t had ANY kids between yesterday and today.
Him: Ok, as long as you are happy.
Me (politely, trying to not escalate the tone): I am. Thank you for caring so much about my personal life. Please don’t ask me about kids again! (smiled)
This to me, was super annoying. Why do people care so much about other people’s lives? Is it entertaining? Are you gonna help them raise the kids? If not, please don’t unless you plan on actively helping out.
Especially when I have told him over and over that we will have kids when we are ready. I don’t know why he feels the need for this to be a part of our conversation, when all I want when I go up there is my breakfast.
I have been really nice about it in the past. But, have you faced similar situations where you were asked personal questions by people you barely know. I try to keep a distance because, although this person is nice, he is not someone I am close friends with or want to be. If I did, we would be friends by now.
Why don’t people understand boundaries? Maybe I let it go on too long without retaliating, but not today. I had enough of his judgemental tone and prying into my personal life. I said something back which made me feel a lot better and next week when I go in to get my breakfast, hopefully we will just keep things professional.
I didn’t mean any disrespect to him, but I needed him to back off! No matter how polite I am, I had to set some boundaries today and I did. I am still a little upset about it, today more compared to every other day. Even if I had kids, or was expecting, unless I feel comfortable, I shouldn’t have to share these things with someone I don’t want to discuss it with. AND I will not!
SENSITIVITY TO THE SUBJECT:
There are a lot of women who have had miscarriages, or recently lost a child or are having a hard time conceiving. There needs to be some sensitivity to this subject as they may not want to share or be comfortable with sharing or are ready to share.
In my opinion, specially for people you are not very close to, it would generally be a good idea (and respectful) to have some sensitivity to this subject and to not ask these types of personal questions.
I understand people have genuine interest in other’s life but not having some sensitivity to blatantly asking very personal questions like these is not acceptable.
Have you thought about this?
Have you had instances in which people you barely know ask you personal questions like this?
What was your reaction to it?
Have you had an similar experiences?
On the reverse side of this, if you are the one asking these questions, why do you want to know?
~~Let’s discuss in the comments below.~~
Stay curious & Have a Peaceful Day!
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