~ How much is too much? ~

Hello dear readers, It feels like a long time since I wrote. Finally sitting on our porch swing, winter is over, no signs of snow, nice day weather-wise. No snow is a good day for me so that is a pretty low bar for a good day, I know!:)

Been sitting here, swinging, with a thought.. How much is too much? How do you know when you are taking on too much? I am someone who likes to do a lot of different things, and I like to move them forward simultaneously. To explain what I mean, the three pronged goals of life, at least for me, are career, personal and relationships.

Recently, I have taken on few additional leadership roles at work, that includes running a forum for busy engineers and another big task which involves learning a lot of material really quick and supporting various assessments. This is on top of my usual workload which is already hectic including travel. Speaking of which I have a big work trip next week.

Personally, some of you know but my husband had a ski injury recently and had a ACL knee surgery, last week. So, been taking care of him as he currently can’t walk very well. He is someone with a very high pain tolerance, and coming from him that it is painful is really hard for me to see. I also started a house project to put hardware in the kitchen cabinets (all-white), have marked all of the cabinets and drawers for where I need to drill, that took three hours over the weekend (right after hubby’s surgery)

Don’t know why I thought it was a good time, but I started it.. Well, maybe because I knew I would be home for an extended period of time with said hubby. I did the cooking, dishes and cleaning as well, and telling him not to go anywhere while I went grocery shopping..followed with ‘wait you can’t go anywhere anyway..:P’ He is a trooper though, he takes a joke well! 😉

And I love writing, so writing posts consistently has been sort of in the back burner in the light of current events going on. My passion for writing keeps me coming back and it is a great stress release for me, and to be able to connect with my readers.

Relationship-wise, I had not been reaching out to the people in my life that are important to me as much. I guess it is understandable under current circumstance, which is what I told myself. Reached out to a few people  since I had been feeling overwhelmed with everything going on. I had a little meltdown to the ears of one of my friends, who listened patiently and talked with me till I started laughing again at her jokes. She is a good friend and I am grateful for friends like those.

In between doing dishes, cooking food, prepping for my travel next week, looking at the unfinished cabinets, I still feel buried and tired and overwhelmed. I have been told I am somewhat of an achiever, I know that, but I feel tired and overwhelmed. Not sure, why I can’t just rest like ..i don’t want to say ‘normal’ people, but I can’t think of a word. I am constantly doing something. Have I been taking on too much? Stretching myself too thin? These are my raw thoughts and feelings.

In the era of multitasking and doing it all, I wonder –HOW much is TOO  much? When do you know you have taken on too much? How do you relax? & How do you strike a balance between personal, professional and relationship goals? I would love to know your thoughts or words of wisdom in the comments below.

 

As Always, Stay Curious & Have a Peaceful Day!

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PS: The featured picture is the one I took yesterday while taking a walk around the neighborhood lake to clear my mind.

21 thoughts on “~ How much is too much? ~

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  1. I find relaxing extremely difficult, so I know exactly what you mean.
    I’ve been feeling tired and unmotivated lately as well. I do think the sunshine can supply with some vitamin D which will give you more energy probably!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for saying that! Isn’t it difficult? Relaxing sounds like such an easy thing for some people, but it is really difficult for me to sit and not do anything. I like the feeling of being productive.

      Definitely excited for some summer weather and vitamin D! I also will be prioritizing a lot more instead of trying to do it all.

      Like

  2. What did u mean by personal balance? Did u mean taking time to take care of yourself? I understand things have overwhelming for you. Keep it simple. Don’t exert urself. And take time to take care of yourself . Ur hubby is a lucky guy to have a wife like you

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This exact question has been the center of my existence for the last few years. I’m absolutely an over-achiever and I get very ambitious. I also get very overwhelmed, distressed, and sometimes even stuck in my own head. I think “too” much is different for everyone and changes. Before I became a mom I could generally balance school, work, relationship, friendships, adult responsibilities (bills, appointments, etc.), and hobbies. With motherhood added in, I have tried to keep all these aspects mostly unchanged with dire consequences. It is absolutely too much for me. I cannot manage to get a balance for myself though. It’s like I’m addicted to having things to do all the time. Just this week I told my fiancé I needed to A) get to bed before 10pm and B) focus on housework because well we kind of let it set on the back burner too long. What did I do? Added more to my list and didn’t get any of it done well. I think mine stems from self control and discipline or a lack thereof. It’s very hard to resist doing what I want to in the exact moment I want to regardless of what needs done. Ironically I don’t have this problem at work, just in my personal life. Maybe it’s also the whole “performance is judged” thing where I know the consequences at work are far greater than at home. I kind of started rambling a bit. In any case, to answer your question “too” much is whatever makes you feel drained. Managing it for me at least has been the biggest challenge of my twenty-something years. I hope you can find your balance and feel back on top of the world soon!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience. Makes me feel better knowing that I am not the only one constantly doing something, constantly trying to be productive and achieve more. That is all good, but people like us run the risk of over-doing it and burning out.

      Similar to you, I think of things ahead of time, plan for the worse case scenario and prepare. I don’t like wasting people’s time, specially at work, so I prepare (understatement) ahead of time so everything goes smooth.

      About the ‘performance being judged’ part, while I agree, we only get judged at work for our performance, for me personally, I have high expectations of myself and because I know I can do better ( I strive for excellence, not saying I am, but I strive for it) I find it hard to settle for an ok job, at anything.

      Thank you for the kind words. Makes me feel better! 🙂 I am starting to take things off my plate and prioritizing.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Too much at one time can be overwhelming. Take time to sort it out… one project …at a time… at home helps. The kitchen project may need to hold for now.

    Once your head is sorted life will be better. Plus Spring is on its way… that will help enormously.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had been pushing myself a lot. So, yes, exactly like you said, I am taking things off my plate and working on setting realistic goal while taking some time to take care of myself.

      Trying to get my head sorted:), hopefully things will start looking up soon. Thanks for your supportive words.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. 1. I hope your husband gets up and running soon.
    2. I’m right there with you. A mix of over-achieving and perfectionist. I’m not sure how to measure what’s enough. I just feel as if I’m in the middle of the ocean, the swimming has tired me out, and I’m running out of air. The moment I feel I’m about to start gasping, I stop and rest. Because if I let it go on for a little longer, I risk burnout, resentment and exhaustion.
    3. Also, even though it’s against my DNA, I try to limit the amount of projects. All of my life I tried to multitask to be efficient. Nowadays, studies show that can be rather destructive for your brain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1. He is recovering and is starting to walk slowly using crutches. PT is in order for him.

      2. Right? I am glad you said the ‘P’ word, I was telling my husband ‘I suffer sometimes because I am a perfectionist.’ I know things are never perfect, but my view point is why not get it as close to it as possible, if I can? Now, I know everything doesn’t need to be but I strive for excellence (disclaimer: not saying I am, just that I strive for it.) I have started to let something go and take things off my list. Feels good.
      How do you ‘stop and rest’? How do you let it go for the moment? I ask because I struggle with this…

      3. Love that ‘against my DNA’, same boat with you. I rather stay busy than get bored. Always have a few things lined up so I can switch between projects. I didn’t know it was destructive for your brain to multitask? I will have to look into it some more!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ad 2. Well said.
        That’s an interesting question. I just throw my hands in the air, and get to my computer, power on a movie, or just grab a book. Sometimes, I try to go outside (bike ride in the summer), because it’s quite easy to quit resting after sitting down for 30 seconds. I think it’s hereditary. I stop, because I know if I don’t, I will get too exhausted and bitter if I continue. So I make myself stop. I have a strong will, which comes in hand. But sometimes it battles with itself.

        ad 3. Just type in “multitasking bad studies” in Google and you’ll see a slew of articles on how it actually decreases your efficiency and how it deteriorates your memory. I mean, you have to be a bit scatterbrained to be doing a few things at the same time.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I liked your response to how you relax. Specially liked ” I stop, because I know if I don’t, I will get too exhausted and bitter if I continue.” I will definitely keep this in mind. Used that approach and just kind of gave up for the moment and took some time for self care and it feels much better now. Went for a massage yesterday which felt amazing & was much needed.
          One thing at a time, one day at a time! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Just like my theme says! One day at a time indeed.
          Getting away from your tasks is definitely helpful. It makes the hold they have on you a bit weaker for the time you’re away. You don’t go back as quickly as you would if you remained home/ wherever your tasks are.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for sharing about what’s currently going on in your life! I hope your husband has a speedy recovery – it’s nice to hear you two are able to kind of joke about it with each other as well.

    As for the questions you asked at the end of your post ~

    To me, I feel like I am doing too much once I notice that I’m starting to take shortcuts on things to “save time.” In a sense, I never really know how much “too much” is until it just suddenly becomes exactly that, if that makes sense.

    Currently, relaxing for me is spending time doing activities that are very opposite from the usual (Ex.: drawing, writing, reading, taking photos of nature, etc.). I am on the computer all day at work designing bridges, so anything more artsy or just anything that doesn’t involve a screen is great for my brain to escape and relax.

    With relationships in both my personal and professional life, I set time aside specifically for reaching out to talk with people. At work that means that during my breaks I walk over to other coworker’s cubicles to see how they’re doing. When I’m off, I shoot off a text to friends once or twice a week, and I have one or two hours set aside on weekends for any potential meetups I can set up with one of them if possible. I find it works out pretty well for keeping in contact with people.

    As for feeling overwhelmed, I’ve found that something that helps me a lot is taking 15 minutes or so to sit down and write out everything you’ve been doing; number them off by urgency, then do them in that order. For me, that helps keep me a bit more organized so I don’t feel like my mind is all over the place, but rather focused on one thing at a time.

    I hope you are able to find some time to really rest both your body and your mind!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.He is recovering slowly and will soon start PT.

      It is good to know how different people deal with being overwhelmed. Good point about starting to take shortcuts and you are so right, it’s hard to know when it gets too much, unless it is all of a sudden. Makes total sense!

      For some reason having an anxious mind that always wants to be productive, it is difficult to relax, but thanks for your advice. I have started to just take some time to do nothing, or watch some shows without multitasking. No screen time is a good idea, I will try it!:)

      I like how balanced you are with regards to taking time out for people. I like a deeper connection so stopping by people’s cube and small talk is a bit difficult for me. It’s great it helps.

      Spot on about lists, that is one thing I do religiously. Make lists and prioritize. These past few weeks were a little off bc of hubby’s surgery house chores and work, planning work trips, we share house chores so that overwhelmed me a bit but i have taken things off my plate.

      Actually watched some shows with him and went and got a massage yesterday and had some delicious cake! – No, it wasn’t anyone’s birthday but decided to get one anyway:) And I didn’t turn on work laptop in the evening. Had a nice evening yesterday taking care of myself. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! Taking time to stop and get away from the screens I feel is very helpful.

        In regards to setting aside specific times to potentially meet up with people – that has been a recent change that I’ve made, that I’ve found to be very effective! Being so intentional about having time for people makes others feel like you really do value spending time with them.

        It’s great to hear you two were able to go out and do something “just because”; it makes the event feel so much more spontaneous and special. :]

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Liebster Award! I actually realized after I nominated you that you have already been nominated back in February… but I did want to let you know that I nominated you as well!

        I’ve appreciated the encouraging posts on your blog and the support you’ve provided me since I started blogging about a month ago. It really encouraged me to continue to write more here!

        If you’d like to see your nomination, please check out my most recent blog post! https://mikehasthoughts.wordpress.com/2018/05/06/ive-been-nominated-for-the-liebster-award/

        Thanks again~

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hi Mike! Thank you for the nomination, it is much appreciated. I enjoy learning people so will definitely check it out and respond. I am catching up on my Award post so will get to it at some point. Currently on a plane about to take off for another work trip.

          I am so humbled and happy I was able to encourage and support you. You write with a lot of conviction and feeling, I enjoy reading your posts, keep going!👍🏼🙌🏼

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Also, you are so welcome!😊
          PS: I still have to update my ‘Caption It # 2’ post with a winner, please check it out and enter your caption if you would like!😊

          Liked by 1 person

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